That’s what I have decided 15 year olds are.. just this huge glob of hormones busting at the seams with these legs that allow them to walk around fooling you into thinking they are still the little baby you gave birth to, only bigger and a lot more emotional.

It makes me wonder what the repercussions would be of having my 15 year old son’s genitalia surgically removed and then reattached when he becomes of an age.. you know like maybe 30 or 35? Okay, obviously that is not something I am seriously considering.. but darned if I wouldn’t like to have that as an option right about now.

All of this is on my mind because a friend of mine was telling me about some kids my son’s age getting caught having sex in the school bathroom.. eeww in itself.. but there you have it. So now I’m freaking out.

I wonder, and yes I want to know damn it.. has he already had sex? Would he tell me? I sure wouldn’t have told my mother, but I have a more open relationship with my kids about such things than my mom did with me and my brothers. So I honestly don’t know if he would or wouldn’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to sit and discuss sexual conquests with him.. heck I’m not even 100% sure I want to know it from him, but I do want to know that he would discuss it with me if he needed or wanted to, and if he didn’t.. I still want to know. I don’t even care who tells me, I just would like to know. Right now, however, I’m going with the idea that he hasn’t and pray fervently that is true. But that alone brings so many other things to mind, to think about, fret about and obsess over.

We’ve covered the discussions. Sex, results of sex, safe sex, diseases, emotional aspects, urges, willpower, all of it. But beyond the conversation and when it gets down to it, what do you do with a potentially sexually active teenager. How mothers before me have gone through this and survived it.. I have no clue. All I know is that this crap isn’t easy and to be perfectly honest with you, it’s scary as hell.

Let’s look at the options.  …read more

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“Amber said that Rebecca said that Tara said that Emily said she likes me.”

That’s what my youngest son told me on the way to school this morning. Of course since I had yet to have my tankard of caffeine for the day, it took me a moment to get to the underlying issue and ask…

“Well do you like her too? What did you tell Amber?”

He said, “I didn’t tell Amber anything. I told Chris and he told Kevin and Kevin told Josh. So Josh told Amber that I liked her too.”

“Oh, so Amber told Emily you liked her?” I asked while trying to keep it all sorted in mind and dodge the crazy drop off line drivers at the school, which by the way is like venturing into the pits of hell.

Like I’m as dumb as the fence post on top of Mrs. Long’s multi-colored picket eyesore that sits behind our house, he sighed and exasperatedly said, “That’s not how it works mom!”

So I thought I would give it a second try…

“So let me see if I can get this straight. Emily e-v-e-n-t-u-a-l-l-y heard that Tara said that Rebecca said that Amber said that Josh said that Kevin said that Chris said that you said that you liked her too?”

“Yeah” he said, “We’re going out now.”

I wonder which will end up having the longer lifespan.. the relationship itself or the “he said, she said” it took in order for them to hook up to begin with.

9 Groovy Comments

I just read this interesting little tidbit of information and thought it might come in handy.

You know what a brain freeze is right? Like when you eat ice cream too fast or drink something real cold too quickly and it causes a really sharp stabbing pain in your head.. well there is a quick cure for that! This technique is supposed to make it disappear instantly.

Just grab your weenus and give it a quick firm tug.

Of course they also say that you can simply press your tongue up into the roof of your mouth to make the pain subside quickly.. but who wants to do something so simple when you can make good use of your weenus? Let’s face it, other than using it as a prop or to nudge someone… it really doesn’t see a lot of action.

So put those weeni to good use my friends! I know I’ll be tugging on mine.

9 Groovy Comments

Well let’s see… Today started off pretty good. Me and hubby started the morning off right with some luuuvin. hehehe… and I wasn’t hung over from the party we went to last night.  …read more

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My kids take turns on the weekends requesting what breakfast we are going to have. This morning was my daughter, Sal’s turn. She picked pancakes. Yay! Something easy and especially good since I was down to three eggs and wouldn’t have been able to do much more than that.

During the week our mornings are so chaotic. With all the hustle and bustle to get to school before the tardy bell rings, we tend to go with more quickie type breakfasts of cereal, frozen pancakes or waffles, oatmeal, etc. So our Saturday morning ritual of a nice sit down family breakfast is nice and something we have all come to enjoy.

So this morning Sal, who is also my little kitchen helper.. she loves to cook, was whisking the pancake batter while I got the griddle hot. I went over to get the bowl from her and all of a sudden started hearing this odd popping noise. It appeared to be coming from the batter. So I whisked it around a bit more to see what the heck was going on and noticed all these red dots mixed in it. What the hell?

I asked her, “Did you put something in the batter?” But she didn’t answer. I looked up at her and her little eyes were about bugged out of her head. She opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out except for more of that odd popping noise. It sounded like little firecrackers were going off in her mouth.

Around an open mouth full of the popping red stuff, with pinkish color drool frothing from her mouth, she managed to eventually sound out, “*fizzle* Ah *pop* pill *fizzle, pop pop* ome *fizzle, fizzle*”

Being the exceedingly brilliant mother I am, just like that (insert finger snap), I realized what had happened and easily translated her “explosive” one-liner to “I spilled some.” Plus she was holding an empty package of Strawberry Pop Rocks candy in her hand so that helped out some too. I know you are probably thinking that my powers of observation are to be envied, and you’re right.. they are. But for some reason the blatantly obvious has just always stood out to me. I’m lucky like that.

Anyway, since it turned out to be a non-toxic substance that was popping in our pancakes, coupled with the fact that I had no more eggs.. we cooked them up and dove right in to eating them. They were actually quite good. The kids loved them and christened Noisy Pancakes as a new item on our breakfast menu.

Next weekend we are going to take a walk on the wild side by adding Xtreme Sour Apple Pop Rocks to French Toast.

We lead such adventurous and exciting lives around here.

10 Groovy Comments