Do you have any idea what all can happen to your fair person, not to mention your mental well being, when you spend 30 minutes with 90+ six year old children?

Today my daughter’s school participated in Jump Rope For Heart, sponsored by the American Heart Association. The gym teacher (coach) sent letters home asking for parents to attend and help out with their child’s class.. so I went. I did not, however, know that that it would be three classes in there at a time, nor did I know that very few parents (translate: suckers for punishment) would show up to help.

It was a trip let me tell you and a truly enlightening experience. Spending time with some of those kids gave me one of those “Aha!” moments, reminding me why I don’t like their parents. Anyway.. a lot, I repeat LOT can happen to you in a short amount of time when you spend it with munchkins…

I got thrown up on, hit in the eye with a piece of popcorn, feet stepped on repeatedly, told I was various things.. mean, nice, fat, skinny, soft (lol guess that is kinda like fat), had on an ugly shirt, wrong kind of shoes, and was told I was beautiful (thank you Grant), I was bitten twice, tripped, stabbed with a pencil, turned into a coat rack (at one point I was holding no less than 20 jackets), turned into a custodian.. there were lots of Gatorade spills, called a cheater when one child insisted he jumped 6 times instead of the 3 he actually did (this kid actually threatened me and told me I better watch out because.. “I’m gonna get even with you Mrs… lady!” with fists balled up and snarl on his otherwise cute face), expelled gas on.. the boy laughed and said he was jump roping for farts, and God help me, asked to come back to help at the Valentine Party that takes place in less than an hour. Now I find myself somewhat scared, especially of “cheater boy”, wondering what may take place when they are armed with cupcakes.

Want a little advice? Never, under any circumstances, let the school know you are a stay at home mom.. you will get abused in someway or another.