Ding Dong
Yesterday afternoon my phone rings. It was our extremely funny priest. He used to be a Baptist preacher and converted to Catholicism then later became a priest. I am trying to talk him into starting a blog, hahaha.. he’s probably one of the most interesting men I know, but that’s a different story.
He was calling since he couldn’t talk to me after mass because I didn’t go. I’m a sinning heathen and a bad Catholic.. not really, I just liked how that sounded… okay, maybe the sinning part is true, hmm alright damn it.. it’s all true. My kids did go though, with my mom.
Anyway, he said something interesting happened after church service down in the Parish Hall. They serve donuts and coffee in there every Sunday after mass. Everyone goes down to partake of the free grub and chat, you know since they have just been cleansed and it’s a new week and all.. gotta get it started off right with some gluttony and gossip!
Okay, where was I.. he said he wanted to tell me an interesting story that involved my 6 year old daughter…
Priest: “Your little girl asked me if I wanted to play a game with her, so I said sure, what do you want to play?”
6 y/o: “We could play Hide and Seek.”
Priest: “Okay that sounds like fun.”
6 y/o: “We have to see who is going to be ‘it’ first. Put your foot over here.”
Priest: “So I put my foot over next to hers and she started saying a little chant thing while alternating touching our feet.”
Me: “Oh like an eeny meeny miney mo thing?”
Priest: “Exactly! But hers went something like this…”
6 y/o: “King Kong had a rubber ding dong, what color was it?”
Me: “Oh holy hell! No she did not! *laughing* What did you say?”
Priest: “Well after I quit choking I said.. Ummm black? And she proceeded to spell out b-l-a-c-k on our feet. I was ‘it’ by the way and hell isn’t holy in case you were unaware.”
He’s such a cool guy. But the moral to this story is, when your young child comes up and asks you, like mine did one day last week, “What’s a ding dong?” Don’t tell her/him it’s a snack cake made by Hostess.
That is NOT what they mean when they ask you that question.
Oh crap. that’s funny but I see it happening to me.
So I had better not laugh too much.
Rubber ding dong?
LOL.. I know! I have no idea why rubber and where the hell she got that from… but I’m definitely going to be asking.
That is hilarious! I also love the the “gluttony and gossip!”
You said “Holy Hell” to a priest?????? Hahahaha. I never get bored here! You have the most hilarious family. To date, you have a pyro mastermind with lots of good ideas if you ever wanted to collect insurance money on your house, you have a wise-beyond-his-years witty little man with a knack for embarrassing you and pissing off highly regarded educators, and a perfect little impressionable princess who loves to make religious people blush!!!! I LOVE IT!!!
My son walked in while I was reading this, and I didn’t know he was reading over my shoulder until he asked “What IS a ding dong, Mommy?”
So I explained it to him. I figure I’d rather have him call it a ding dong in front of a priest than some of the other more “creative” terms…
OMG that is too funny. Would this happen to be the same priest that you were checking out at the hospital?
Oh sweet Jesus, that’s funny. I don’t remember the King Kong ding dong way of choosing when I was little.
Yes, do tell…is this *the* hot priest you were doing naughty things to in your head?
Oh guess what?!!! I BEAT WALMART!!! I WON!!
Priests don’t bother much with blogs, other than to mess around, because they can’t pass a collection plate around for income.
Whereas I’ve never been about making money off of others. I do charge for doing weddings though.
And I don’t consider myself a priest, but a spiritualist, a street minister. I could so not adopt any of the foolish religions on this rock that where dreamed up by these monkeys.
But my mother loved being a Catholic so she could screw five guys, go to confession, get a clean slate, and go screw five more. It didn’t bother her to screw them out of their money either.
I go to the beach, screw churches.
I think I’ve hurt myself laughing!!!!
LOL!!! Hilarious Groovy Lady! This post made my day..thanks!
(Would this happen to be the same priest that you were checking out at the hospital?)
I’d like to know this as well. lol
@ Rick… Thanks! I know I personally enjoy gluttony and gossip.
@ Yeah I did.. figured it was more fitting than holy shit, lol. Btw, my kids are everthing you mentioned and more.. unfortunately.
@ Sayre… Oh no! My little princess is inadvertently corrupting the minds of others at the age of 6, lol. Smart move telling him, I need to correct mine too.. I suppose S is still is thinking it’s a snack cake.. albeit a rubber one.
@ Snowman.. Now if it was the same “hot” priest.. do you think I would be missing any church services? I think not! I would be there front and center.. for the wrong reasons of course, but I would be there.
@ Sonjablu.. I don’t remember that one either. I do remember some that even though that would have people these days running for their politically correct corners, lol.
@ Snowman.. Ohhhh yay you!!! Did you post about it? You better have! I’m heading that way to read all the details. Way to go regardless!
@ tysgirl.. No, different one more’s the pity. If I ever see that man again I’m not sure it will be only in my head that I’m doing things.. because YES! He was that hot.
@ BBC… Yeah organized religion isn’t for everyone, I suppose. I personally think it’s what is in your heart and how you live your life that counts.
Damn man! Sounds like your mom was a sinning heathen and not a very good Catholic! If she had been she would know that’s not how confession works. It’s usually only non-catholics that think that crap.
@ Sharon.. LOL, I’m glad you got a laugh out of it, but don’t hurt yourself!! Hey have you ever laughed so hard it feels like you dislodged an ovary or something? Hurts doesn’t it?
@ WAH Opps.. Glad you enjoyed the post! Nope damn it.. he’s a different one. One of the funniest people I have ever met, but a far cry from being hot which is probably a good thing. If he was then I would need to go to church after going to church.
HAHAH! That had me laughing out loud! Thank’s for the laugh o the day.
Oh, and just in case your are unaware, saying “holy hell” to a Father isn’t perhaps the best idea.
…course, I say it all the time, but I haven’t seen a priest in o, bout 25 years or so….
It seem to me that you have some wild facination with priests??
Our daughter has been asking us very similar questions…. since we’ve already convinced ourselves she’s going to be a pole dancer - we are just being very honest with our answers and hope for the best.
Oh my God! A funny, cool priest! But he’s wrong. King Kong’s rubber ding dong is brown. If look really closely during the movie you can see this quite clearly.
I’d also add don’t let your kids play with priests, but maybe yours is OK.
ohmigod.
yet speechless again…
i do like your priest.
LMAO.
if your life was a reality series, you’d make millions!
@ Anne.. LOL, yeah it wasn’t my best word choice to date… but a habit that is waaay to ingrained for it not to slip out.. even when inappropriate.
@ Ryan.. Actually just with one priest, who I hopefully will never see again. I definitely don’t need that sin on top of my other everyday ones. LOL
I normally tell mine real meanings for words too, or try to anyway. Unfortunately, with this one, I had no reason to even suspect she meant it how she did, lol.. hell I didn’t even relate the two and my mind usually works along those lines. I’m slipping!
@ Dan.. LMAO! I must not be as observant as you, lol.. I didn’t notice that part in the movie. I suppose they wanted him anatomically correct though. Why? I have no clue.. he didn’t have any sex scenes did he?
@ Limpy.. You bad man! I love it!
I don’t trust anyone alone with my kids.. priest or otherwise. EVER.
@ notfearingchange.. He truly does rock. Super guy all the way around. He is the only priest that I have ever encountered that at least once, usually more, makes everyone laugh during mass. Some people may not dig that.. I personally do.
@ Terri.. LOL, hell if they did, they would have to add one of those captions.. Do not try this at home, or.. May not be suitable for children.
The millions would be cool though!
That is a cool priest. I love it when the clergy are approachable like that.
Awesome… your little girl is so cute and well done on the priest for keeping his cool and moving along… by the way who’s to blame for the definition of a ‘ding dong’?
LOL Thats too funny! I can see why he called you!
@ Jeff.. I agree. It makes things so much nicer and makes me feel more comfortable. I’m sure it does most people.
@ Helen.. Umm.. that would be me.
@ qtpies7.. LOL, he’s a great guy. I love that he felt comfy with doing so.