Spit or Swallow
Some people spit, some people swallow. Personally, I’ve always been a spitter and feel pretty confident I’ll always be one. There are just some things that (I think) are not meant to be swallowed.. EVER. However, there are those people in the world that can swallow most anything and not even gag. Then there are others that go ahead and swallow but practically throw up in their mouth because they can’t control the gag reflex that immediately follows when a gross substance is sliding its way down their throat.
Unfortunately, the option to be a spitter or a swallower without causing a disruptive scene has been taken away from us. Even more unfortunate is the fact that unless you are a professional with outdated equipment, there is absolutely nothing you can do about this travesty. Me being the non-professional, self-proclaimed spitter that I am, I think this sucks.
Now take my youngest son for example, he is a swallower-cum-gagger. I know this because he swallowed then gagged, which subsequently set off a chain reaction of me gagging and then his little sister. Hell, the whole incident affected her so adversely that she had to go running for the bathroom where she stood over the toilet dry heaving for 5 minutes. Luckily, my gagging fit was manageable since I only experience a couple of “Mmmuh.. mmmuh..” episodes while in the midst of a conversation.
It was a very gross moment for all of us. However, in my son’s defense it really wasn’t his fault since he had no idea he could spit if he wanted to. Some of you may be wondering how it’s possible he didn’t know this. I find nothing strange about it at all considering that each of the dental facilities he has visited are relatively new and no longer have the old fashioned spit sink that used to sit next to the patient’s chair. Now everything is done with suction. If you want to actually spit, you have to tell the dentist so he can stop what he is doing, get up and spit in the main sink located on the other side of the room.
Now tell me, if you happen to be a spitter too, just how frigging inconvenient is that crap? Personally, it pisses me off. There should be a spit sink damn it!
Ew. There should be a spit sink!
Apparently I’m a spitter because I just spit my juice all over my laptop…thanks bitch
Yeah! I knew right from the start you were talking about the dentist! No… my mind did not wander to other possibilities. Seriously!
did you really mean to type that your son is a “swallower-cum-gagger”? I had to read it 3 times and yep that’s what it says…lol I had to re read because sometimes my mind drifts in a dirty direction for no reason. lol I assume that should have been “come” Ok laughing so hard I have to stop..you crack me up
Oh My.
All I know for a fact is that I missed one blog on my “thinking” blog list.
To save myself though - I’m a spitter. I’m also from a ranch so all I EVER spit is copenhagen.
That’s the first time my nasty chewing habit has come in handy.
@ Oh the Joys.. You’re damn straight there should be. Unfortunately, they can not be purchased any more so newer facilities won’t have them.
@ tysgirl.. Call me strange, but I just love the fact I can make you spit.
@ Terri.. LOL, surely it couldn’t have implied anything else. Why I can’t even begin to imagine what else it could be.
@ Snowman.. You would not believe the IM’s I have gotten over that, lol.
Cum is a preposition, lol.. it’s from the Latin language and means:
with; combined with; along with (usually used in combination): My garage-cum-workshop is well equipped.
In the case of this post it is.. swallows with gagging.
More commonly used in reference to graduates and meaning “with honors” = cum laude
Ex: Summa cum laude, magna cum laude and cum laude
That being said.. get your mind out of the gutter woman!
@ Ryan.. LOL, I dunno. Being a spitter or a swallower is probably not something most people want to or do think about on an average day.
I have no idea what you are talking about. My dentist has a spit sink next to his chair. I must go to a really old dentist. I will tell him the next time I see him.
I do remember my dentist getting annoyed at me because I gagged when he had his fingers down my throat. I was a child what was I suppose to do? Yeah, same dentist. I guess that explains the spit sink.
You can not use that in a blog called spit or swallow and not expect me to go there…lol
@ Snowman.. Yes, I know, lol.
I went *there* (*there* being the dark, sick, perverted place that is ALWAYS on my mind) based solely on the title alone, but then I ran very far away from *there* when you mentioned your son. I’m not a perv like that when it involes the underaged.
@ SoozieQ.. Well I am certainly glad you did run from there, if not I would have had to ban you. I don’t want to do that because I like you and mainly because I’m still hoping you might let me borrow your “Yes, he’s really good” husband.
Groovy Lady- get in line, I asked for his *ahem* services first honey!
Okay now that’s two words you wrote that I can hardly speak out loud.
Funny!
@ penni… Hey chick, I learned to cut line from the pros so you better watch out. My kids have mastered the craft.
@ The Sour Kraut… Hey! What’s wrong with spit and swallow.. they are two common everyday words! Oh wait.. are you referring to sink?
Oh my god, you crack me up! Our dentist keeps a suction “straw” (there must be a more technical term for this) in you mouth almost constantly - so I dont’ even have to comtemplate what I’ll do with too much gunk in my mouth.
Hmmmmmm?
(When I first read this I thought it was about something else…you evil, evil woman, you. :> Then when your son was mentioned I thought i really REALLLLY misjudged you….ANYway)
I am the latest in a long line of spitters. My brother’s kids aren’t allowed to spit, it’s so sad. When you have that stuff in your throat you just need to get rid of it or risk it ending up in your lungs, I say!
…but as for the erm…other topic, I swallow. Guys dig it, and I always want my date feeling good….
I’m not sure that I could look at my dentist with a straight face and say “Doc, you need to know something about me….I don’t swallow”.
I am a total gutter rat. I’m a pig and I deserve to be slapped…My head is totally dirty.
I however, am a spitter.
@ Carrie.. Our dentist has that little suction thingie too.. don’t you hate when that thing sucks up your cheek and makes that slurping noise? Eww, I do! Anyway, in this particular incident they were making an impression of my son’s mouth with all the gooey stuff. They couldn’t use the suction thing and he didn’t know what else to do with it in his mouth, lol.
Poor kid, he did better than me. I would have gagged just having it in my mouth. Swallowing, I’m sure, would have induced vomiting. Ugh!
@ Anne.. I am evil damn it! Or at least I want to be.
Personally, I’m a spitter in every sense of the word.. no that’s not quite right, if it gets shot in my mouth.. then I would probably be more appropriately titled.. a spit in your fucking facer.
@ Bob… That scenario just cracked me up! Damn I love your mind!
@ Janet… Woohoo! Welcome to the club sugar! Both of them.. totally dirty and spitter!
Our last two dentists both have fairly new offices, and yes just the sucker, no sink. And when you are done and he hands you a paper cup of mouthwash to rinse with he still uses the sucker instead of pointing to the sink. That’s just plain wrong.
@ joeinvegas.. Oh hell yeah that’s just wrong! I think I’m going to find me a dentist with old equipment.
Sometimes you just need a spit sink. Otherwise, I can swallow just about anything!
I don’t spit or swallow, but I drool a lot. Think that means anything?
The comments from this post definitely ranks it equal to the eating pussy post. I can’t get enough of this blog…lol
You are awesome… even though u are a spitter. My dentist has that suction stick that they shove in your mouth and tries to see if he can suck my whole head in to it starting with my cheek.
Okay, you had me - my mind was TOTALLY in the gutter until I got to the part about your son, where upon I began wondering just what kind of perv you were… I am SO relieved that we’re talking dentists here!!!! I was trying to imagine what your son was doing that would have him pegged as a “swallower-cum-gagger” and that you and your daughter would be watching and gagging your-own-selves.
I hate the suckers - so I’m a spitter. You should ask your dentist for a largish cup to spit into and dump it into a sink on your way out.
Wow, I got nuttin’. There is not one thing I can say to add to this conversation.
My dentist has a spit sink too. So I guess I’m a spitter, not a swallower.
Wow, that doesn’t sound too gay.
First I would like to thank you for all the hilarious and thoughtful comments you leave on my blog!
Secondly, I’m a spitter. I don’t know what I’d do if I met a man who didn’t have a sink.
Thirdly, THANK YOU for writing a post I’d never be able to get away with! Ever since I decided to censor myself, I realize I have nothing to say. I’ve lost my mojo I think. Also, I guess I have nothing to say that isn’t raunchy. I’ll have to retrain my brain…that could take days!!!
I reiterate a point I’ve made clear in one of your earlier posts… YOU’RE TWISTED… and I love it
This reminds me of what a Danish proverb: ‘only a thief thinks he’s being robbed’
think about it and you’ll figure it out.
the Dentist.. that was naughty.
I’ve been swallowing for years. you wouldn’t believe some of the crap I’ve swallowed. Today I’m spitting and quite possibly biting too!!!!!!!
sorry had to get that off my chest now if I just run out in the street naked and scream until I’m sedated maybe I can avoid killing my husband for one more day.
I like the suction straw. BUT ON MY TERMS. So my dentist and i have an arrangement. Give me the control and i’ll be back…
so basically i hold the straw the whole time.
@ Tai.. Yes, sometimes a spit sink is an absolute must.
@ Freebies.. LOL, you’re too young to drool.. oh wait! I just remembered several conversations, or should I say the eye candy subjects of those conversations.. yes sugar.. your drooling means something alright.
@ Snowman.. Thank you! I truly enjoy yours so having that sentiment reciprocated just tickles me pink!
The suction straw/tube/thingie.. SUCKS!!! Pardon the intended pun.
@ Sayre.. LOL, we are often times an oddily perverse family.. but we ain’t that bad!
Great idea on the spit cup! On our next visit I’m going to suggest they furnish some.
@ Jeff.. That’s what all the swallowers say! Are you sure you don’t have something to add?
@ limpy.. It didn’t sound gay at all, lol. You are so lucky to have a dentist with old equipment!
@ Jennyhaha..
First: You are very welcome!
Secondly: You would still spit.. you would just have to start directing your aim for areas that leave no doubt that you are indeed a spitter.
Thirdly: You haven’t lost your mojo, lol. I think it’s just been buried under some leaves that shouldn’t even be in your yard sugar.
I certainly hope you decide to leave your very entertaining brain as is… it would be an injustice to everyone who visits your blog if you don’t.
@ Helen.. Isn’t it funny how like people tend to find each other?
I am thinking and thinking.. HELP!
@ cathy.. I think forced swallowing deserves to be followed up with biting.
Honey your venting is welcome here anytime, I just left your place.. I hope things improve.
@ notfearingchange.. Holy shit! LMAO, you just cracked me up! I was chomping on some ice and you made me bite my tongue.
I love it.. a swallower with terms.. hahaha!
I don’t swallow. I think it’s yucky.
Of course I’m talking dentist here.
This remind me of a “vacuum” post I did not too long ago! I do agree with you, though. I am definitely a spitter…..there ARE just some things that will NEVER be ingested by me! ( Oh, yes…..I said NEVER!)
hee-hee
@ Michelle.. Yucky is putting it mildly.
@ Queen of the Mayhem.. I’m right there with you sugar!
Okay GL….Now I don’t feel so stupid. I truly thought I was the only one who read that whole swallower cum gagger comment wrong or somehow misinterpreted it. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought suck - cum - swallow and your - son in the same thought process! For a second, I thought I was in need of therapy but I’m not, I’m fine…..I read it right and misunderstood it completely….I just feel better knowing I’m not the only one. I will be the first to admit that I almost went down THAT road. I now feel completely educated in the whole “cum” thing and spit or swallow, I won’t make that mistake again…
Now, for the record, I myself have tried the who swallow thing and have decided it is not for me! I am definitely a spitter! And I haven’t been to the dentist since I moved here so I’m not sure what kind of suction or mouth evacuation techniques he uses. I would be happy with the spit sink because the suction straw just grosses me out!
I keep meaning to drop him in the mail to you! Actually I need to pick up an iBuzz first, then I’m ship him off to you, okay?
@ Krystal… Oh no! You were definitely not the only one. I had several instant messages waiting on me the next morning, lol. All of them saying the same thing.. oh wait.. you were one of them.
@ SoozieQ… Woohoo! I just told tysgirl I couldn’t help out with a donation for her one because I was donating it to myself, hahaha. Now I won’t need it! Yay!
Just found your site! Too funny!
@ Karen.. Hi there! Welcome to Groovy Lady! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
I just left your place too.. the Fed Ex thing would freak me out girl!
[…] I was in the dentist office the other day with the kids for yet another appointment of not knowing whether to spit or swallow. We were just sitting there waiting for our name to be called, thumbing through some magazines and playing a rambunctious game of rock, paper scissor, when in walks a lady with something in her hand. […]
I’m a spitter and my dentist has no spit sink. There’s a sink in the room though, at the back of the patient chair.
I have a wet-vac sucking my saliva and their rinsing water all the time but it doesn’t produce the same “clean feeling” that self-swishing (don’t know what to call it since it’s not really gargling) with water does. I hate that water sprayer and wet-vac. I have to spit and scrape my tongue against my teeth to get the yucky feeling off. Scraping the yuckiness of my tongue (after all that fiddling in my mouth) is something that water sprayer and wet-vac can’t do.
And so I just keep standing up every few minutes to go to the back sink/faucet and swish water in my mouth several times and then spit. Does it annoy them? I don’t know and I don’t care. Serves them right for not thinking about clients’ needs when they set up their clinic.